Tuesday, May 23, 2006

check, check, check that a**

i've developed a rather bizarre habit lately, checking out my ass every time i leave the bathroom at work. now it's not like i'm standing on my tiptoes or doing anything really odd like that. but we do have a full length mirror right next to the bathroom door, it's just begging you to look at yourself as you leave (probably to prevent the embarrassing toilet-paper-hanging-out-of-the pants issue for those people that make toilet paper seat covers). the way this all started, i believe, is when my mother commented that it looked like my ass was getting smaller. yes, that's exactly the way she put it. this then prompted me to ask my good friend jenn "can you do me a favor? does my ass look smaller?" she then told me she would NOT look at my ass. i guess friendship only goes so far.

now i don't really want my mom to think i'm ass crazy, so i haven't continued to ask her what my posterior looks like to her. & if i ask my wonderful fiance to check it out for me then that leads to other events....which leaves me the option of self checking in the bathroom at work, because, of course, i don't have any full length mirrors in my house. my work pants do seem to be getting looser, but that could just be because they're getting a bit older. because when i put on my blue jeans i can't really tell any difference. & the scale sure as hell isn't moving eithor. do you ever get the urge to just punt your bathroom scale?

i have been told that compulsive weighing is no good for you when your goal is to lose weight. the individual ups & downs every day can be rather demoralizing. does the same apply to compulsive mirror watching? if my butt happens to look a bit bigger will it make me run to a hershey bar to alleviate my disappointment? hmmm...my guess is no because, i am a smart chica & i do understand the equation of: too much chocolate=increased ass size. now while i do have a nice ghetto booty, i would like it to be more toned & taut, rather than look like i should be dancing on that jiggly jello commercial.

in a perfect world i could take my extra butt tissue & have it transplanted up north to my tits & then things would be just grand. unfortunately medical science does not yet offer a butt-to-boob fat transplant yet. it's a wickedly terrific idea & i'm sure that there would be plenty of people that would jump at the chance to play a little ms. potato head & rearrange some fleshy parts. but since medical science doesn't seem to want to help me on this venture, i guess it's still hours of cardio, weights, lunges, & pilates.

No comments: