Wednesday, May 24, 2006

the mighty jello bowl

first off, yes, last night i broke down & asked my mom if my ass is getting smaller. it's an addiction, i admit it. perhaps there's a twelve step program? if so i'm already at step one, admitting that i have a problem. back to my mom, she did agree that, indeed, my ass is getting smaller. which made me fairly happy. & then i started to worry because the butt in my work pants is starting to sage dramatically. my rump kind of dissolves into a pile of fabric right around the tops of my thighs. but at 50+ bucks a pair for new business casual pants, they'll serve until they are actually falling off of me.

& onto more recent events, while working out on the elliptical this morning i noticed that my fat seems to be getting mushier, if that even makes any sense. i've been working out, not as much as i would like, admittedly, but definitely more than i had been doing. i'm doing a mix of different types of cardio, weight training, & pilates. my weight hasn't changed that much, but according to my handy-dandy-at-home-fat-percentage-scale, my body fat percentage has dropped a couple of points. so does that mean building muscle/losing fat? could be. so that whole thing deserves a "yippee!"

now here's my gripe. my stomach, arms, & thighs seem to be getting flabbier. it's like the muscle is sucking itself into my body, adhering itself to my bones, & leaving all this flabby flapage hanging all over. yeah, i know, not the sexiest of images, but a girl can't always be a goddess. (ok, well she can be, but that can lead to pill popping & excessive vodka consumption, so i'll be frumpy now & again, thank-you very much.) this is a very frustrating stage of this whole process. i have been reassured, often, that this will decrease as i continue to lose weight & that the most important thing is to keep up with the weight training to help de-flappy my body.

i tend to not be a very patient girl. when i want something i want it ten minutes ago. yes, i know patience is a virtue. i've never been very virtuous, at all. but i am really working on this whole patience thing. my biggest problem at this stage of the game is that every single day i feel like i'm working out hard, eating less, not eating the yummy calorie laden treats that i want, & still no visible results.

& what about the shrinking booty you ask? well yes, there is that. but that means i have to do an ass check several times a day & that can be just weird. right now it would be really nice if the scale would move in a downward trend. or if perhaps my clothes would all start being really loose on me. or the flapage would decrease considerably. it's just one of those days folks. i really think i should stop looking at the gym mirrors when i go in there. the image of myself red-faced dripping sweat from a 3/4 sideview is not one that i need stuck in my head all day.

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