first off, the health care system is an evil beast & just might be the anti-christ. yes, i know, i work there & i shouldn't bite the hand that feeds me, literally. & i'm not really biting it, just saying it's not a nice master. i've mentioned this before but my fiance has much better health coverage than i do. he just has copays for almost everything & then 100% coverage. he does have a small deductible related to hospital stays & surgeries, but over all a very nice plan. i on the other hand have a $1000 deductible, then it's 85%/15% until i reach my max oop (out of pocket) of $2,000, then my plan starts paying at 100%. & they won't cover lots of stuff.
get this, my insurance would rather pay for: sleep studies, medications, injuries, & chronic illnesses (ie diabetes) that are caused by obesity rather than help people recover from obesity so that they won't have those problems. yeah. i know. totally ricoculous. jack's however will pay for dieticians, nutritionists, & everything up to & including obesity surgery. so we decided that in order for me to really get the help that i need i'll have to go on his insurance. yes, adding me on will be lots of cash, but averaging that with how much we'll be paying to cover my exorbitant deductible & out of pocket we'll actually end up even & i'll have better coverage. even his drug coverage is better!
the sticky issue then becomes, what qualifies as a dependent? some plans do have the whole domestic partner thing which can apply to straight couples also, depending on the policy. but more & more policies are defining domestic partners as "same sex couples." which would leave me out in the cold on this one. jack does need to call up big blue to find out their definition.
in the mean time, i realized last week that i'm really & truly ready to be married to this man. now he still drives me up the wall, sometimes to the shaking point (you know, the point where i just want to shake him hard? which, of course, i never do), but i also love him with all of my heart. & not to be sappy, but he makes me a better person. so while staring at my wall at work last week, which i do way too often to be healthy, i realized that i am ready to be married to him & in a way it already feels like i'm married to him. awwwww..... [insert sappy sigh]
when i texted this info to my fabulous boy he sent back "Now?! Pack yer bags we are going to vegas" & i really did have to talk him out of vegas because he was primed & ready to call in sick to work for two days & drive out to sin city to tie the knot. he was so terribly cute, by the way, all giddy & happy & really wanting to be married like five minutes ago.
& all of this got me to thinking. why not? i love him, i want to be married to him, & he loves me, he wants to be married to me. why wait? i will still have my big wedding next year because i've put money down on stuff & i'm way too freakin' cheap to waste that. i also have my gorgeous passion princess dress ordered & it won't be in until october. it would also solve that whole sticky situation of not living together until we're married.
the one problem i potentially see with this whole situation is the families. i can see people saying "why have a wedding in 2007 if you guys are already married?" a valid question, it is. my gut response is the answer of: because. which is not really an answer at all, at least according to my parents & every teacher i've ever met. getting married this summer would be a technical legality to make some things in our lives possible. things that would, in the long run, be mega beneficial to us both. the wedding planned for 7-7-7 would be my dream wedding, & as most anyone can attest to, dreams take time to come true.
right now we're trying to decide if we are going to get married this summer & if so when. jack is thinking he'd like to go to vegas & have a vegas wedding. & he wants to do it as soon as possible. maybe he's thinking i have millions tucked away somewhere & wants to marry me to get at my wondrous estate. just kidding : ) i know that he really loves me for me. as an aside, since he's not actively reading my blog i have to tease a little so that i'll actually know when he does check it out.
the summer is nearly done & before i know it fall will already be here. if we're going to get married this summer we'll have to jump on it soon. it's tempting to get married on july 7 so that when we get married next year it's on our one year anniversary, but that's a two weeks away & seems incredibly soon to do something like that.
so be honest & brutal gang, am i being super impetuous & should i just back off, take a deep breath & just wait until our planned date of next year? i can be the kind of chica who leaps before she looks. & i really don't want to end up with a shattered ankle because this quarry is too shallow. take that how you will. i'm not doubting marrying my boy at all, i'm just debating on this timing. so far everyone i've mentioned this to is very supportive & think it's a great idea. one of my friends even told me that she already thinks of me as married. that was a compliment, right?! & lately i haven't exactly been thinking straight, more like in pyschedelic spirals. would it be totally & completely bizarre? or am i worrying too much about "the others" & not enough about what jack & i really want for our lives? could we really make it work getting married now? or would it be financially devastating? are we really ready to be legally bound to each other? & what about the taxes? will the government screw us blue on our taxes? will lassie get to the well on time? so many questions.