Thursday, June 22, 2006

re-frekin-dic-u-lous, seriously

ok, every time i say "wow, that was the low point of my weight loss journey" another one pops up to say "oh no no, i can beat that one, no problem." new birthday year rule number one: quit acknowledging new dips in the road as "the lowest low" of my weight loss journey. it seems to be a very bad thing for me to do to myself.

so the newest pothole in the road is a doozey. any one who's been to the doctor's office has had their blood pressure taken, & so you know that they have two sizes of blood pressure cuffs: normal person & fat person. well i just found out today that there is indeed a third size: really really super fat person. ack! now i've got big upper arms, & it's not from getting ripped & pumping iron. i have jumbo mitendorfs (a term coined by a co-worker based on her maternal families predisposition to flapping upper arms & lovingly given their surname) & i admit that i have big upper arms. but they've always strapped that fat person blood pressure cuff & pumped their merry way into a nice bruise on my upper arm & we've all been just peachy keen with the whole deal.

today at the doctor's office the nurse, who really is a sweet fellow by the way, grabbed the jumbo fat person cuff on the way into the exam room, except i didn't know that was what it was until a few moments later. so the nurse basically asked me which one they used & i gave him this total deer-in-the-headlights-dumbfounded-wtf look, because i was genuinely confounded. so he wrapped the fat person cuff around my right mitendorf, tilted his head, & told me if it was too tight it'd give a false high reading, so we better use the other one. so my blood pressure today was recorded using the ultra super huge fat person blood pressure cuff. which was not a pleasant sensation after stepping on the scale & realizing that my weight had gone up 6lbs in the last month.

wtf. i mean seriously. wtf.

i've been averaging about three days a week of exercise at an hour & a half on each of those days. now admittedly i did have my weekend of horror a couple weeks back with the too much booze & the car accident (not related to each other, if you'll recall). & i had my birthday in there, so i've been indulging my wicked cravings somewhat. but seriously, that's a pound & a half a week, on average, since i saw my doctor in may. the scale is moving at a steady pace in the exact wrong direction.

wah, wah, wah, want some cheese with that whine? i can already hear the comments. & yup, i'm being a bit of a whiney biotch & i acknowledge it. but i have come up with a kind of plan. i think i just need to take short walks on the other days. my puppy is so hyper i swear he's eating espresso beans when i'm not home. so i should take his bouncy little behind on some walks to get rid of all that excess energy. & evidently it's one of the best forms of exercise. although my guess is that billy blanks would heartily, & loudly, disagree with me on that one. also, i realized that this whole getting home at 9-ish & then eating dinner thing just really doesn't work for me. so i'll be spending some extra money & buying ten lean cuisines each week so that i can have lunch & dinner at work & then if i really really want to, i can have a small snack when i walk in the door.

on my way into work i thought no time like the present, so i bought some extra "diet" meals so that i could have lunch & dinner at work today. which means at lunch time, which is about quarter to four, i won't be eating a meal since i'll be doing that when i get here & at my last break. so thanks to jenn, who set the horrible example & kinda dared me. i walked down the stairs & then back up them today on my lunch. so from the fifth floor to the first & then back up. around the third floor, on the way to the fourth, i started experiencing vertigo & i swore that my head was going to spin itself right off my neck ala exorcist & my body would then tumble down the stairs until i hit a concrete wall with a nice loud crunch. i did make it to the top, hyperventalated, & then went on my merry way.

my doctor is also recommending that i move out of my parents house, my advisor for my thesis is recommending that too. when i shared an apartment with my sister i was doing so much better on exercising & losing weight. i was the master of my space & i made sure that i had the room to work out. i also didn't bring any junk food into the house because i didn't want to eat it. so if the chips/cookies/pepsi/ice cream aren't there, they're not getting put in my face. 'cause let's be honest, if i get a craving i'm usually too lazy to go out to the store to pick up the wonderful fatty tasty treats. think my doctor would write a prescription saying that jack & i need to move into our own apartment due to a health condition that's being aggravated by my current living situation? (keep in mind folks, i love my mom dearly dearly dearly, but she's so catholic that it hurts. no boom-boom before the vows, ya know?) i may have to investigate that option. & see if a portion of the rent would be covered by my policy because it's medically necessary.

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