Friday, July 07, 2006

one year & counting. . . .

so one year from today i'll be getting married to my wonderful sweetie, jack.

it's exciting, but now i'm even more nervous. here's the thing gang, i really don't want to be a hefty bride weighing in at over 200 pounds. this is not a WWF fight, this is a wedding, but god. brides are supposed to be beautiful & delicate. & how the friggin hell is jack supposed to carry me over anything, much less a threshold, if i'm that big? it's not the vision i have of my wedding day. i'm supposed to be cute, irresistible, & radiant, goddamn it!

yeah, the bride can, if she so chooses, swear like a sailor. want to make something of it?

anyway, i think i'm officially into the major freaking out phase of my wedding planning, &, do you hear that? that subtle crackling sound? methinks that bridezilla is emerging from her shell, hatching after having been lovingly incubated (read: repressed) for over a year now. but, yup, there she is, large & ready to breathe flames in order to get things in order (read: her way).

honestly, i'm not that much of a diva. ok, i'm a little diva-esq, but what girl isn't? jenn, don't answer that. & especially when it comes to big things, this, folks, is a really big thing.

i have this vision of how my wedding is supposed to look. no, i'm not a psychic, but i play one on wow*. in either case, i know how i want things to look at my wedding. i have the theme & feel of the event very clear in my head. & i'm not very willing to work with anyone who's going to fuck up my idea of what i want. i'm not completely unreasonable, i'm willing to take other people's suggestions into consideration, but people blatantly messing with what i want, that i won't tolerate.

with that being said, up comes the issue of MOM. mine is driving me mother friggin buggy! i really want to tell her that she already had her wedding thirty-some years ago & if she's not happy with the one she had then she's more than welcome to do a renewal of vows for herself & my dad & to kindly keep her hands off of my plans! now of course i'd never be so mean as to say that to my mom. i really do love her, & she has some great ideas, but she's trying to hijack my wedding & do things her way. which, obviously, is not my way.

the latest, you ask? she's trying to get me to have my brother make stands to drape fabric to "soften" the walls of the caves because she thinks the atmosphere is too stark. one of the reasons that jack & i chose the wabasha street caves as our venue is because they're unique & dramatic. the caves were a night club back in the early part of the 1900's, ie the 30's or so. it was frequented by gangsters such as ma barker, & there was even a gangland shooting there from that same time period (there's still bullet holes in the wall). since it's actually a part of the cliffs there are no exterior windows, the walls are rounded stucco, & it has a cozy feeling. we're also going to hire a tour guide in period costume to give tours of the unfinished caves to our guests. the main attraction is that it's dark, mysterious, kind of a bit of a sexy dangerous feel to it. so why would i want to soften all of this up with fabric drapes? check out the above link kiddles, click on the "events" button & you'll see a picture of the banquet portion with set tables.

also, what is wrong with having daises as my flowers? why must i have greens in there? i don't want greenery. it goes against the tone that i'm setting. & for the record: i don't like boutinaires. i don't plan on spending the money on them for jack, the groomsmen, ushers, or our fathers. why is it such a sin to want to resist pinning a bunch of flowers to the lapels of the men participating in the wedding? do you really think the guys are going to be all butt hurt about not getting flowers? jack, marty, josh, are any of you seriously torqued about the lack of boutinaires? please tell me if you are, i may reconsider. but they'll just look silly on the zoot suits. just plain silly!

so there's my wedding count down rant of the week. this message has been brought to you by the letters j & b & the number 777.

* world of warcraft

No comments: