last week i had this family get together to attend. ok, technically 50th bday shin-ding for my aunt cathy, but none the less it falls into the greater category of FAMILY GATHERING. especially since usually i only see my extended family once a year.
now as you all know, my faithful readers, my fat tush has not only NOT lost weight over the past month or so, but my weight & waist, along with other things, have been getting bigger. & while i have some cute jeans at home, i can't wear them without feeling like i'm auditioning for oscar myer for the role of "guest wennie." & to top it all off, last week my levi's waved a white flag & surrendered. they have officially given up the fight & are ready to be retired.
interesting side note: there are toothbrushes that have that blue band in the middle, & when that half fades away you know it's time to replace your toothbrush. now for all of these years i thought that those leather patches on the back of levi's were just for decoration. something to say "hey dude, these are levi's!" believe it or not they actually serve a functional purpose, much like the blue toothbrush bristles, it indicates when it's time to buy a new pair of jeans. last week, the leather patch ripped clean in half, all the way through. no warning, no inkling, nothing. just fine one day & two sad little pieces the next.
i had arranged to work the way-to-early-in-the-morning shift so that i could get off work early & get to my aunt's party at a decent hour. i actually clocked out at 3:30pm, then didn't get out to the car until almost 4pm, & decided i had to zing over to moa to see about some new blue jeans. & this wicked cute hello kitty shirt i saw on the torrid website. i was feeling fat & frumpy & in need of a new pary outfit. by the time i got to the mall i was mucho cranky, tired, hot & so not in the mood to a: shop b: go to a party or c: do anything that didn't involve a nice soothing shower followed by bed-lounging-tv-watching.
once i got to torrid that changed. i took some clothes into the dressing room, three t-shirts & two pairs of jeans. one random pair that was greyish, & a pair of medium blue apple bottoms. now i'll admit, ever since i first heard of these jeans i've been curious about them & very tempted to hunt down a pair. shhhh....i'm huntin' wa-er, i mean jeans. they are designed to fit those of us blessed/cursed with an ample posterior better than any other jeans. now considering most jeans have this obnoxious puker in the back because they just can't accommodate the junk in my trunk, i was really happy when i heard nelly was releasing this clothing line.
typically i'm not big into fashion, trends, what's hot or not, but these jeans are seriously the best pair of jeans i have ever worn in my life! they're wicked comfy, not restricting or ill fitting in anyway, & the best thing, they have enough room for my "b-dunk-a-dunk." most of the time i'm flashing my thong at someone, unknowingly, because my jeans just aren't cut right for my body shape. no more, i say, no more! i have found the jeans to fit my ghetto booty, dare i even say, my apple bottom?
finally, blog worthy jeans.