day 1 of south beach is done. i'm onto day two. it's no picnic, let me tell you that. just now in the refreshment center (our way cooler version of a breakroom), i was heating up my sad little handful of chicken to top my heaping bowl of lettuce & raw spinach when i spyed a woman sitting by the window with a plate from the cafeteria. she was taking her time savoring a big bite of a grilled cheese sandwich on wheat with a giganto handful of kettle chips. it took all my will power to keep from vaulting my fat tush over the counter & pulling a hamburgler on her, or in this case a grilled cheeseburgler.
now anyone who knows me knows that i'm normally not a violent woman, i'm actually somewhat of a hippy-beatnik-peacenik whatever you want to say. in any case definitely not one to attack a fellow human being for a petty reason. but one day without my carbs & i'm nearly foaming at the mouth for some starchy goodness. which is quite interesting because normally i'm not a huge bread, rice, or potato gal. sure, i like 'em ok, but if i'm going to binge on something it is more likely to be ice cream or candy, or something like that. something sweet & deliciously bad.
but last night man, jack made a pot roast for dinner with a huge pot of gravy. & i wanted nothing more than to make some mashed potatoes, spread 'em thick between two pieces of buttered bread & drench the entire thing in some savory beef gravy. . . & then dive in mouth first. yeah, not such a lady like action, but right now being top in miss manners' class is very last on my to-do list. last night i dreamt about a baked potato. & i'm only 24 hours into this whole thing.
now i've read the south beach diet book. which had some interesting information. & i've talked with friends at work who've done it too. & i've heard everything from "it's a piece of cake, easiest thing ever" all the way to "i thought those two weeks would never end." at this exact moment in time i'm leaning more toward the second statement rather than the first, but who knows what i'll feel tomorrow. maybe in another 24 hours i'll have a lot sunnier outlook. or just merely be defeated.
not that i'm trying to be pessimistic here gang, it's just that, well, i'm pretty much a hearty eater, as the saying goes. i was raised on pasta, & pancakes, & potatoes: mashed, boiled, fried, & hashbrowned, & hotdish (which means cream of ? soup+ground meat+rice OR potatoes OR pasta= yummy good dinner) & grilled cheese, & pb&j's, & cakes, & cookies, & nothing was diet or fat-free, lots of sugar & starchy goodness filled our cupboards. ok, granted, i grew up during the 80's when our president declared ketchup a vegetable & school's still thought it was great fun to have kids hurl kick balls at each others' heads. so there have been a few changes in society's norms since then. but all the afore mentioned foods are still near & dear to my heart.
ok, that last paragraph definitely didn't help in me chocking down my previously mentioned lunch.
i'm sick of dealing with this whole eating thing!
it is a major pain in the butt. i don't want to deal with it anymore. i'm done thinking about carbs, fat grams, calories, processed vs unprocessed, vitamin & mineral content. i don't even get any pleasure out of food anymore, it's just become a tedious chore. if there was really any way for me to stop eating but still manage to live life i would definitely take advantage of it. this just isn't fun anymore.