today was not such a great day. i won't go into the nitty gritty details, but suffice to say, i'm not doing terribly fabulous right now. & to soothe my emotions i ate. &ate. & ate. & none of it was at all good for me. tasted fabulous, but not in any way healthy. today was the end of our employee recognition week & they catered in lunch for us. sandwiches, pickles, chips, & pop. it was SO yummy! & then this morning they had sweet martha's cookies to celebrate the upcoming state fair. & then there were the treats from treat day, cookies & mini scones, oh my!
& can anyone predict how i'm feeling now? yup, miserable! one thousand brownie points to the person behind computer number seven. my tummy is all full, i have a head ache, i'm sleepy & over stuffed & i really just want to go home & go to bed. i don't want to pass go, but i would like to collect the 200 hundred bucks, i could really use it right now. & i did over eat today with full knowledge that i was doing it. i knew it when i loaded my plate with chips to go with my sandwich, when i grabbed the cookies, & the scones, & the hershey kisses, i didn't mention those before, did i? well i had those too! completely out of control day. & i know this isn't the behavior that i need to be cultivating. & to top things off i didn't get in my work out this morning either. double strike. & i've had a whole whopping two ounces of water thus far, & it's half past seven at night. that's it, three strikes, i'm out for the night. stick a fork in me 'cause i'm done.
yes, i do read my own previous blogs. & yup, every minute is another chance to change it all. so maybe this could be the minute. when i'm stuffed & feeling fat & gross & like a huge ass failure. maybe i'll pick this moment as the fulcrum on which to turn my attitudes around. not exactly the hollywood moment that would win me the acclaim of the academy & the adoration of a million fans, but i'm not in this show for that, *thinking* nope, definitely not in it for that. when i get home i'm going to take a good long look in my mirror. & then go to sleep. tomorrow i should be able to sleep in & finally get a decent amount of sleep. maybe even get something done around my house. oh, maybe i can be super-duper ambitious & get my independent study typed up so i can drop that at school on monday. that'd be super keen.
then again, a nice dark cocoon made of my comforters & snuggling up with my teddy bear sounds really tempting. no, that's not a euphemism. it's literal. me & my teddy bear pookie & about half a foot of blankets curled in the middle of my queen size bed. sounds like a great idea to me.
at any rate, i'm in need of some good vibes, so if you have extra, please send it my way.