right now that's basically how i'm feeling, like i'm broken. cracked. flawed.
i haven't whined & moaned about it much lately on here, but i've been having a bunch of back problems lately, which have kept me from exercising. & kept me from doing much of anything except whimpering pathetically.
back in september i did go to a doctor, for my back & the horrid stabby headaches that i'd been getting. & he basically barely looked at me, didn't really believe me, & told me that it was probably just that i had bad posture &/or work station habits, to get evaluated for that & i'd be good as new. yeah. right.
at the beginning of october i had my yearly physical & mentioned this pain, which has been getting increasingly worse, to my brand new doctor. & of course i mentioned the stabby headaches & the other problems i've been having, & thankfully she was concerned & didn't dismiss me. which led to me having an x-ray on my lower back on friday october 6th, which led to me getting a prescription for heavy duty pain killers & an mri tomorrow & a preliminary diagnosis of: slight scoliosis, arthritis, & compressed discs aka the unholy trinity of back pain.
& i've shrunk an inch & a half.
yeah, how much does that totally suck? i used to be 5'6" just back a couple years ago. i'm now down to 5' 4 1/2". which is really really uncool. not only do i have crippling back pain, but i'm shrinking too. i now officially qualify to shop in the shortie section, all of my "regular" jeans & pants are getting too long on me. pants that i've had for a year now don't fit my height anymore & i'm walking on my hems. blech. double blech. i mean, yeah, on wow* i totally have a gnomish personality, but that doesn't mean i envy gnomes their height.
so i found all of this out last week on wednesday. & they wanted to get me in for an mri asap, but the only time they had last week, on friday, conflicted with my work schedule. so i'm going in at the crack's crack of dawn, i have to be at the imaging center at 6:15 am in order to be in the mri by 6:30am. & then after that i should have more information. i don't even know what to think about all of this. i'm seriously upset about the fact that i'm having so many problems, so much pain that just won't go away. & then the fact that back in september i was given the royal brush off by a doctor who barely gave me the time of day.
wish me luck gang that i get some kind of silver lining in all of this cloud cover. right now i'm getting used to the constant pain, & i really don't want my stasis to be a state of pain.
*wow=world of warcraft