it's been said by too many people in too many ways, that the ending of one thing should be thought of, not as an ending, but as the beginning of something else. also, when god closes a door, he opens a window. yada yada yada. it's a tired & worn out phrase, ideology, something warm & fuzzy to wrap ourselves in when something in our life goes awry & we need to feel better about our past & where we still have to travel in the future.
fuck. that. shit.
sometimes a girl needs to wallow. with a long island. or a big mother-effing bottle of tequila.
i won't say that i regret anything that's happened in the past two years, because to say i regret it is to say that, if given the chance, i would change it, & i wouldn't change it. because that's not the way i roll.
like everything in my life i'm trying to look at the opportunities that are being presented to me now instead of what i'm losing. & it's hard, because, well, the afore mentioned long islands &/or bottle of tequila for starters. but beyond that, 'cause i hate saying good bye. & i hate admitting that i'm wrong.
& most of all, i hate failing, at anything. & i feel like i failed. big time.
no matter what anyone says, it's how i feel. & i won't apologize for how i feel. it cheapens you, & your emotions, to apologize for them.
& that's all i have to say about that.