Tuesday, January 09, 2007

the cute boy litmus test

last night jenn & i made our some what triumphant return to the Y after being gone from the gym for a little over two weeks. part of our motivation being that we both feel like crap after stuffing our gobs with cookies, fudge, gravy fries, alcohol, & such until we thought we would actually literally burst. & then part of it is that challenge number two rolled around & she & i have some serious competition this time around & we need to kick some serious tail this time around! when we strolled into the Y, ok, jenn strolled, i was more like waddling into the Y, there was only one elliptical free, which i graciously told miss jenn to take, only to have another open up ten seconds later, so i was ellipticalling in no time at all. when people say it's a whole lot harder to start something again after quitting, they are so not lying! yesterday i almost died on the elliptical, seriously. jenn was so close to having to post me on mydealthspace & then attending my funeral. but luckily, i drank some water, counted down the seconds, & didn't fall on my face as i dismounted the elliptical. face planting in the Y is definietly not a good thing.

i walked by jenn's elliptical as my legs did their impression of jello, she was breezily gliding on the elliptical with another 27minutes to go, she was doing an hour. the chubi. seriously, love her to death, but wanted to punch her square in the balls because i was there hyperventilating & she was breathing normally & looking decidedly NOT sweaty. she offered to leave early for me, & s grunted that nah, i should really do some time on the treadmill.

as i walked to the back of the gym to the nice brand-new-just-arrived-after-thanksgiving treadmills i noticed a boy. correction. a hot boy. & then i had this awful image of this dark haired beauty running & watching my jiggly ass in my black leggings bounce around & laughing so hard that he trips & is shot straight into the wall. no way was i going to be responsible for that. so i went to the back row on treadmills, an old guy is short-shorts between me & the beauty.

but then i started doubting myself. cause my cute boy radar has been quite dodgy lately, i’ve been declaring males hot who were showing up as a definite not. & i was seriously wishing jenn was next to me so i could get her spot on opinion of the dark haired possible hottie. i was still dutifully plodding along on my treadmill at a whopping 2.2 miles per hour with a everest like incline of 3.0 when the hottie jumped off the treadmill & went to lift weights.

ye-haw. he was going to walk right in front of jenn’s machine.

if he was indeed cute i’d see a sign, even from halfway across the gym. so the dark beauty with the built upper arms & tattoo walked right in front of jenn & nothing. damn it. & then. something wondrous happened. jenn’s head tilted ever so slightly to the right & i just knew, just KNEW that her eyes were following the boy into the weight room. now it’s not like she was ogling him like a ravenous dog & a steak or anything, it was the smallest little movement, as if she was looking at the clock, which just so happens to be right above the weight lifting area. but the timing was just right so i knew that she sure as fuck wasn’t checking out the time.

hot damn, he really was hot. he passed the jenn test.

but the very best part of the whole night was as i was dropping jenn off at her apartment. & i was telling her that there was this cute guy that i saw, but then i wasn’t sure if he was cute, & then, he walked in front of her & i saw her checking him out. & she kinda couldn’t believe that i caught her checking him out.

& i have a whole new reason to drag my ass to the Y every night, the beautiful tattooed boy. although i’ve also developed an odd phobia regarding how people view me from the back when i work out. maybe it’ll even out in the end.


Jenn said...

I have no idea what you're talking about!

Jenn said...

Ok, so maybe i do.

Suburban Witch said...