the human mind & body are amazing machines in their complexity. they can function under extreme stress, duress, & pressure, sometimes for extended periods of time. but then again, while they are amazing in their strength & versatility, they can also be incredibly weak at times, & easily bent to another's will or persuasion. sometimes one person intends to influence the other, bending their will & breaking their spirit, as in cases such as kidnappings, cults, prisoners of war & the like. when someone in power makes it their mission to assimilate the person under control. another way that people exert their will on another is more insidious, by just simple repetition of suggestion. sometimes even just one comment can plant a seed of doubt in a person's head that will stay with them for the rest of their life. & even though the body is the most complex & dynamic machine on earth, it is very delicate in that the mind has complete control over the body. if the mind believes that the body is sick, even if it isn't, the body will become ill.
in a way it's very sad how much power a small suggestion can have over the arch of a person's life, if that suggestion is said in the right way, by the right person, often enough. while this is something that i've known for a while, it's something that i have recently realized is very present in my life.
there's three words that i've heard almost ever since i can remember. "with your knee. . ." ever since i injured my right knee for the first time when i was eleven i've heard those words. those words kept me from: skate boarding, skiing, climbing trees, running. . . doing just about everything. i became so fearful that i really would hurt my knee again causing me to be subjected to knee surgery, always said in a whisper as if speaking those two words aloud (KNEE SURGERY) would some how cause the universe to inflict this punishment upon me.
lately i've been purging my life of negativity, including ridding myself of issues from my past that are holding me back. & as i jogged around the track at the Y the other day (more about the sudden phenomenon of beckah's new fond love of jogging in another post) i came to the conclusion that i am not afraid of injuring my knee because i'm really actually afraid, but because my parents are afraid for me. they're afraid that i'll do something to fall & hurt myself again causing serious damage to one or both of my knees. but the catch-22 of the entire situation is that: if i don't exercise & push myself, my body, specifically my knees, will get weaker & weaker, where as, if i do exercise there is a risk of another injury. however, i am starting to think that the risk of injury is significantly less than the good i will do by actually pushing myself to do things that i've previously avoided, like: kick boxing, jogging, & basketball.
from now on i believe that every time i exercise i strengthen my body as a whole, my muscles, my joints, my cardiovascular system, pulmonary system, & even my soul.