Monday, January 28, 2008

evidently a name tag is in order

these are the names/nicknames that i answer to: rebecca, beckah, becks, beck, becker, beckers, b, jeckah, jecks, becky (but ONLY at the group home), chica, princess, angel, sweetie, hun, honey, goddess, & kitten.

no where in the above list is the name cassie.

so friday night i went out with a friend of mine Q (the name has been changed to protect the innocent, er, the guilty, er, well, to keep the boy from blushing redder than rudolph on christmas eve). so Q is a friend of mine who just so happens to be a boy. & we're pretty good friends. we're sort of friends with some extra benefits. (is everyone reading between the lines here?) ok, so Q & i sometimes get nekkid & have some fun. he's a boy. he's my friend. but he's not a boyfriend.

i had a really rough week last week (more on that to come in a subsequent post), so Q & i went to see a movie & then we just kinda talked. it was really nice being able to hang out & kind of just talk & have someone listen without judging what i was saying or telling me how i should be feeling. like i said, it's been a rough few days, especially the closer my move date & my surgery get.

so at one point we're talking & Q tells me this story about how this other girl that he's seeing (one again, are we all on the same PAGE?) accidentally said, er moaned, someone else's name during a not very cool moment. yeah, awkward. i'll be honest, i felt bad for the boy because that is a horribly sucky & super uncomfortable situation. i'm guessing. i, for one, have never said the wrong name in that kind of position, nor have i been called the wrong name in that situation. so yeah, felt bad for the boy.

a few minutes later i wound up telling him that after the last time we "hung out" i woke up with a really odd bruise that i couldn't figure out how it got there. the conversation went something like this:

Q: do you bruise easily or are you anemic?
me: sometimes i bruise easily, but i'm not anemic.
Q: are you sure it wasn't a hickey?
me (with an eyeroll): it was a bruise. i think i know the difference between a bruise & a hickey.
Q (after a pause clapped his hands & said in a funny voice): i gave cassie a bruise.
me (not really believing my ears): what did you say?
Q: nothing
me: what did you say?
Q: what do you think i said?
me (grasping at straws): um, "i give gas and bruises"?
Q: no
me: what did you say

so this went on for a bit & i'll save you all of the back & forth, but the upshot was, the boy DID INDEED say "i gave cassie a bruise." now, as is evidenced by my name/nickname list above, cassie is not a name i go by. & he did mean to say "i gave beckah a bruise."

yup, kinda a fucker face thing to say considering i'd been an emotional wreck all week & barely resisting the urge to cry most days. & then the fact that i was crying before he picked me up. & at the beginning of the movie (& it was a horror movie for god's sake). but i didn't let him see me crying in the movie. so given how upset i'd been for a while you'd think this would've pushed me straight over the fucking brink & caused me to start really bawling. but it didn't. somehow, all i could do was kinda laugh at the whole thing.

now that doesn't mean that i didn't tease him about it. & here's the debate: Q says it'd be worse if we'd both been semi clothed & he called me the wrong name. i say it's worse when there's no fooling around because at least with fooling around you can claim temporary insanity from ecstasy. fully clothed just talking & no hanky panky at all & there's no excuse.

he asked if it made a difference that he'd just hung out with her recently. i told him nope didn't make a difference or make it better. & my rationale is that he'd been hanging out with me for the past few hours before he called me by the wrong name. so, i'm taking votes, which is worse? to be called the wrong name in the middle of flagrante delecto? or when taking emotional shelter in a friend?

i'm thinking of getting a t-shirt made up, black with hot pink across my tits with my name on it. possibly with glitter. maybe then there won't be confusion? or maybe it's just another way for me to get attention focused on my boobs. only time will tell.


Sarah said...

definitely the hot pink, and definitely in glitter.

then, perhaps it will beat my newest addition to my T collection: "Cranky" in super-white on forest green. because, you know, truth in advertising and all that.

or maybe you need a copy of one of my favorite shirts -- it says, "i see that you've already met the twins" in teeny-tiny script. which is of course great in gay clubs, but a little awkward around straight men. because only the ugly ones will comment on it.

Dalerian said...

Sometimes, it's just like that with names and people!
I broke up with a long-term ex 2 years ago. Since then, a few people have wandered through my heart/bed, and NONE of them have I called by her name.
My latest partner, though, I am CONSTANTLY biting back the other name. As in, almost every time we make out ... and that's been happening since September.
And ... "Deb" and "Samantha" aren't really all that similar.

What can one say? Maybe Q is like that with you and the name Cassie...

(Yes, this is a long stretch for Male Loyalty. But the story of my fighting to avoid The Name Blunder is true.)

beckah said...

sorry for the late response sarah, but yes, i think i will get one of those made up this summer, for all the clubs & bars i'll evidently be going to :)

& dalerian, sorry, nice try hun, but i don't buy it. besides, how is that supposed to make me feel better? i think i may go cry in my malt-o-meal ;)

cheers ~b