on monday february 11th i'll be having gastric bypass surgery.
i know i went down this whole surgery path about a year ago, put the brakes on with a squeal that could've shattered glass & said "um, i need a minute." & while i lost about a year as far as weight loss goes, i'm not unhappy that i decided to wait & think it over a bit more. i think that if i would've gone through with the surgery then i may have had some lingering doubts if i did the right thing. & right now i have no doubts.
that doesn't mean i'm not scared. because i am. i'm so damn petrified at times i can barely breathe. but i'm also excited & looking forward to the surgery. & i'm also really curious. because i know what to expect from the medical end. i have pamphlets & hand outs & information galore on possible complications. what i can expect to maybe feel physically post surgery. what i can eat. how much i can eat. & all of that.
i'm trying to wrap my mind around what i may wind up looking like. how i'll feel. how it will feel to lose a large amount of weight in a very short amount of time. i'm going to wind up weighing less than i ever have in my adult life. & that's basically about half my life right now. how do i prepare myself for that? because no matter how much you've thought about something, prepared for it, & considered it from every angle. you can't REALLY know how you're going to feel in any one situation until you're actually there.
but that's where i'm at right now. new apartment in the next few weeks, and then just after that, a surgery. once again, 2008 is a busy year.