Friday, February 29, 2008

so much for being a super hero

i made it exactly one day back at work & i'm back out on medical leave again. oh, who am i kidding, it wasn't even a whole day. i WORKED the whole day, but i was there barely an hour & i felt lousy & had people telling me, in a very nice work appropriate way that i looked like crap. awesome, eh? everyone from coworkers to my supervisor to my director to directors of OTHER departments & even the woman in human resources. it was also highly recommended that i leave early. of course, i stayed & did as much work as possible.

on tuesday night after work i did wind up in urgent care because i'm SO TALENTED that i managed to score myself a post-op UTI (urinary tract infection). not to be overly descriptive, but it felt like my bladder was filled with razor blades. & that morning i'd been up for an hour & a half having to pee every two minutes. LITERALLY every two minutes from 2:30am to 4am. the urgent care doc was lovely but told me that i have a very severe infection. awesome. i rock. but i did get some pretty frickin strong antibiotics, which is good.

but i went to HCMC wednesday morning & had an appointment with my surgeon. & i really did go back too soon. i WANTED to be super woman & go back strong after two weeks, but i just wasn't ready. i have been suffering from VERY intense & overwhelming nausea. basically pretty debilitating. on top of that i've been really weak. kinda sad, but weak to the point that i have a refill for my air freshner that i can't replace because i can't get the cap off. pathetic, i know. although, the nurse at the hospital had a pretty good point that with the nausea, my body still getting used to my new stomach, & a severe infection it's no wonder i felt like crap.

my medical leave has been extended to march 17th, so another two weeks basically past today, so another almost three weeks in total. if i feel better before the end of my leave i'll get medically cleared to go back early. but now that i've come to grips with the fact that i'm NOT back at work after two weeks i'm realizing how hard this really is on my body. i've taken an afternoon nap wednesday, thursday, & today. just trying to drink all my water, eat three meals a day, & just function really is exhausting. i know that sounds lame, but it really is.

to be honest, it's twenty to nine pm right now & i could go to sleep for the night right now & i just woke up a couple hours ago from a nap. i have talked to my doctor's office about the nausea & the exhaustion. they said that everyone's body is different & some people take longer to adjust. right now it is really just going to take some time. i also need to be very good to myself.

5 comments:

Diary of an irish woman said...

take your time to get better. Your body is letting you know that it went through major major changes and needs time to heal. Put your feet up, read a book or write to take mind off the sick feeling, i found eating small and often helped - even its one grape every 10 minutes. Keeping you in our prayers chicca

beckah said...

thank you much, hun, i appreciate the well wishes. i'll do my best to slow down & rest. ~b

Mike Connor said...

Might be a good time to renew a meditative practice.
Everything occurs in our minds as it is. Perhaps this block of uninterrupted time will yield many insights.

[this has been a zen moment with mike.]

dew appears on leaves
mists dwell where words cannot reach
clouds shed silver souls

beckah said...

*hugs* thanks for the zen moment mike. i think you're right, meditation could be very useful for me right now. ~b

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