the great usps raised the rate of a first class stamp. AGAIN. to mail a letter it's now something ridiculous like 42 cents. i just bought stamps back on march 1st, a whole book of 41 cent stamps. yeah, fuck. who the hell keeps a bunch of 1 cent stamps around? not i. yeah, it's tempting to past a penny to the envelope with a 41 cent stamp. if only that would work. but i don't think that'll work & it'd just delay my bills from their destination.
today i had to mail my car insurance & all i had was a bunch of 41 cent stamps. so i had to put two on the envelope to get enough postage. it was a little after 7pm, i'd been at work for almost twelve hours, hadn't taken a lunch break. i was still high on caffeine from my morning coffee. i also have a bit more energy now than i did before, which is nice, but makes me a little hyper. ok, a lot hyper. especially when i spike that natural high with a drug like caffeine.
i was sitting at my desk, on the phone with april, lamenting the fact that i was paying 82 cents to mail a check with a payment coupon for my car insurance. & i said "i'm tempted to throw a couple pennies in there just to feel like i got my money's worth." & then while bouncing ideas around: nickels, paperclips, assorted non-sense, i realized i had the exact right thing in my purse to send along with my insurance payment of six hundred some odd dollars: a condom.
in hindsight, & by that i mean after i got out the sharpie, after i wrote messages on the front & back of the ultra thin lubricated trojan, after i sealed it in the envelope & after i dropped the stamped envelope in the drop box at the post office, after all that it seems like a fucking bizarre thing to do. & i am semi curious how that's going to be received at the payment processing center. what a rip it'll be if the envelopes are opened by machine. my hope is they're opened by people & it makes someone smile. that it makes someone's day. that it makes it around the payment center. & the story ends up on the net. & in case it does. i took pictures to prove it was me : )
so below are pictures of the front of the condom, the back, & then the condom with the 2-41 cent stamps that inspired the whole damn thing.
the front of the condom says: "your insurance makes me feel protected too ->"
the back says: "thanks farmers! :)"
& finally the condom with the inspiring 41 cent LOVE stamps just before the envelope was stuffed. . . .yes, that was meant to be dirty. wicked dirty.