Wednesday, July 16, 2008

weight update

i need to bitch about my weight more often on here! i wrote the blog complaining that i couldn't break through to under 180 & then it happened, the very next day! yesterday morning when i stepped on the scale it read 179.4. i even hopped off it, then hopped back on to see it again (& take a picture because i really AM that much of a geek!) it was last week or so that i had stepped on the scale saw 179 something & then got the camera & then i was back up into 180.X, yeah, that was a kick in the teeth. & then i bounced all over the low 180's for days. but the 179.4 stuck. even though i got on & off the scale five times. that's not an exaggeration, i really did that just to see if it would stay in the 179 range.
i do have the photographic proof that i was in the 179's for a while. & this morning i was still in the 179 range, 179.8, but still under 180! i thought i would have more of an epiphany or a wow moment once i got to under 180. the last time i weighed 180 i was 14 years old, probably a few inches shorter than i am now, & definitely wearing bigger clothes. i now weigh less than i did in 8th grade. how can that not make me cry or mist up even a little? maybe because i'm still in this unreal phase. it all seems to be some kind of dream, or some kind of odd reality that i still have not adjusted to yet.

i'm about 18 or 19 pounds away from losing half of my body weight since my highest weight. i had really wanted to do it all on my own. but i'm not ashamed of the fact that i needed help. i did as much as i really could before i reached out. some of my friends have asked me if i wished i would've done this back in 2007 when i first started the process. & i'm really glad that i did wait until 2008. i wasn't ready back in the spring/summer of 2007 when i went in for my surgical consult. but this time i was ready.

& it's exciting to be in this new virgin weight territory. kind of a mini adventure. i'm excited to see where this all goes. it's also weird because even though my back has been hurting me really really badly for over a week now, suddenly monday evening/tuesday morning it was like i got a sudden burst of energy. i don't feel the same tiredness & lethargy that i had experienced ever since my surgery on february 11th. almost like i was covered in a blanket & someone lifted it off me. maybe because it's now been over five months since my surgery. maybe because i've lost such a considerable amount of weight. maybe a combination of all of them & something else. but it's very cool.


K_Yew said...

Congrats! The last time I weighed under 180 was in high school :-)

beckah said...

thanks! it's slow going, but i'm determined :) & it's nice to reach the new "firsts"